I wake up on a day when my son is not with me and many emotions arise. There is an indescribable void. I am not a writer per se so I really can’t come up with the best metaphor. Something in my heart vacated for a time. Worries arise of how he is faring. What is he eating? What is he learning? Did he get an ouchie booboo and did someone kiss it? I distract myself from these thoughts by improving our home a little bit at a time.
I begin the morning by putting my son’s Melissa and Doug’s easel together, with grace and precision I might add. During this process of finagling the boards and balancing the screws on my own, I decide to start a blog unveiling my path currently as a single Mom. Do I want to stay a single Mom forever? No, probably not. Is this the best course for my son at the moment? Absolutely. Do I consider myself a writer? No, but I think I said this already. Something in me compels to write and perhaps connect with other single Moms who have similar fthoughs, feelings, and experiences.
I don’t think anyone comes into this world signing up for single motherhood . Women don’t go searching out for it or applying for it. It happens, and usually in somewhat awkward or unfortunate circumstances. I might be biased in saying that single Moms are the toughest and strongest women of the world. The amount of pain and heartache they go through in the process of becoming a single Mom, and yes it is a process, and still be able to tell their story on the other side is quite a feat. It prepares that strong woman for what is ahead. Getting your child or children ready in the morning, on your own, working full time, on your own, preparing meals, on your own, cleaning house, on your own, waking up early enough to get a shower, on your own, story time and tucking in bed, on your own.....the list continues. But really I’m not alone all the time. I have an incredible support network who are willing to help at a moment’s notice. However, the day to day is on my own. But I’m ok with this. It is actually enjoyable to have autonomy and freedom to make decisions. My own decisions in my own home. I feel empowered and alive. I feel motivated and eager. Yes some days are more tiring than others and some days like today when my son is not here are more somber than others. It is about balance and commitment to myself and my son’s growth. I receive so much enjoyment seeing my son laugh and grow, which outweighs those tiresome days. FaceTiming while he is away and seeing my son happy with his Dad also keeps me content knowing he has so many people around him that love him.
So here I am. Creating a space with light, love, and happiness....on my own.
I begin the morning by putting my son’s Melissa and Doug’s easel together, with grace and precision I might add. During this process of finagling the boards and balancing the screws on my own, I decide to start a blog unveiling my path currently as a single Mom. Do I want to stay a single Mom forever? No, probably not. Is this the best course for my son at the moment? Absolutely. Do I consider myself a writer? No, but I think I said this already. Something in me compels to write and perhaps connect with other single Moms who have similar fthoughs, feelings, and experiences.
I don’t think anyone comes into this world signing up for single motherhood . Women don’t go searching out for it or applying for it. It happens, and usually in somewhat awkward or unfortunate circumstances. I might be biased in saying that single Moms are the toughest and strongest women of the world. The amount of pain and heartache they go through in the process of becoming a single Mom, and yes it is a process, and still be able to tell their story on the other side is quite a feat. It prepares that strong woman for what is ahead. Getting your child or children ready in the morning, on your own, working full time, on your own, preparing meals, on your own, cleaning house, on your own, waking up early enough to get a shower, on your own, story time and tucking in bed, on your own.....the list continues. But really I’m not alone all the time. I have an incredible support network who are willing to help at a moment’s notice. However, the day to day is on my own. But I’m ok with this. It is actually enjoyable to have autonomy and freedom to make decisions. My own decisions in my own home. I feel empowered and alive. I feel motivated and eager. Yes some days are more tiring than others and some days like today when my son is not here are more somber than others. It is about balance and commitment to myself and my son’s growth. I receive so much enjoyment seeing my son laugh and grow, which outweighs those tiresome days. FaceTiming while he is away and seeing my son happy with his Dad also keeps me content knowing he has so many people around him that love him.
So here I am. Creating a space with light, love, and happiness....on my own.
